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Writer's picturecherylmurfin

1. Before Beginning

Updated: Jan 24, 2019




Before beginning 

I thought I’d walk 500 miles 

In the direction of a dead saint

I don’t actually believe in

Along a Pagan path toward which I’m more inclined


I thought perhaps 

I might find god 

On this road

Either the one the saint died for 

Or one of the Pagans' versions


And if the former, 

I’d crawl up the steps to the tomb on my knees

In gratitude

Or if the latter,

I’d set large stones upright in a circle and call it Stonehenge II

Before beginning

I thought I’d carry rocks 

In my pockets and in my pack

Picking more up each day

Like the transgressions I can’t seem to stop making


It never occurred to me that the road 

Might rise up from my feet

And ask me to give back its stones

And take back all the meaning 

I foisted on it without asking 


I thought for sure I’d write a book

About how the saint or Pagans

Changed my life completely

How their road walked me

Rather than me walking it


But then I discovered

This path has been over-written

It is awash in books and websites

And texts and Instagrams So what could I possibly say that matters?


What could I possibly find 

That hasn’t been found before

Or write that wouldn’t bore

A reader or, perhaps more important, myself

To uninterested tears?

Before beginning

I thought the road

Would be sunshine and butterflies

Forty days to spiritual transcendence

(Either Christian or Pagan; I'm not picky) 


I thought If only 

I walked with an open heart

I could be properly shattered

By the beauty of a pilgrimage

By fig trees and flights of birds and one more gaudy altar

I thought if only

I could overcome 

Some good, solid, lingering pain on this journey

Then, and really, only then

My pen would bleed profundities black onto the page

Then I began

And I thought 

Maybe I think too much ~ Cheryl Murfin, on the Camino de Santiago

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2 commentaires


kimbycaplan.dp
25 déc. 2018

This poem brought tears to our hearts and helped to exorcise the toxins of at least a handful of Holiday excesses. Xoxo Kimby/Madeleine/Harry

J'aime

sharonmurfin
25 déc. 2018

This all was the best gift this holy birth day in an otherwise distant land without a December moon in sight. Keep walking and singing. Love to you. Sharon

J'aime
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